little shadowboxer

Little One! Maybe I should start calling you Thumper? Your little squirms and wriggles have finally changed into good, solid bumps and I am enjoying each and every one! The bigger kicks started coming about a week ago. If the timing was similar to when Owen was growing inside my tummy, it would still be about a month before your little attacks would be felt on the outside, so I wasn't expecting this so soon. Your Daddy was able to feel you kick for the first time on Sunday morning, though, and I'm so glad! I wish you could have seen his face. He has barely even begun to feel the reality of you, and already he loves you so! As do I, precious Little One!

Even as I sit here, you're going at it again! You just kicked me, and Caleb, too! I think this time it might actually be hickups, though. Either that or listening to David Crowder Band gets you moving just as much as it does your daddy and brothers! Either way, it's wonderful and amazing...as are you!

[Although, young man, you had better understand that kicking and punching will not be encouraged or even tolerated indefinitely, got it?]

What's in a name?

Precious Little One, your daddy and I have started working on choosing a name for you. It's a hard decision! We want it to be perfect and special - just like you. We've got it narrowed down to two, but we're just not sure. I'm sure we'll decide soon enough.

In the mean time, your big brother, Caleb, has come up with several suggestions. The first conversation we had about it, he came up with Ancha. Hmm. I don't think so. Next, he suggested Shuffle, but only if your last name was Ta Tuff. Shuffle Ta Tuff. I don't know if I'm wild about that one either.

The other night, while we were making dinner, he came up with a few others. He was SO excited when he suggested Lookinsteinish. (?) I'm not quite sure what he was thinking with that one. I don't think he knew either, because he quickly changed his mind - "I mean Luke!"

"I mean Luke Skywalker!"

Your daddy got to choose his little sister's middle name and he chose Alice, because his favorite story at the time was Alice in Wonderland. Alice isn't a bad choice for a name. Caleb's all-time favorite is Star Wars, though, so I don't think we'll let him pick or we may end up with a son named C3PO! Ancha, Shuffle Ta Tuff, Luke Skywalker... They're definitely special names, but I think your daddy and I will reserve the right to choose something wonderful just for you!

PS - Caleb also thought it'd be fun if, for Christmas, we called you Snowflake!

Three's a crowd...

...and we wouldn't have it any other way!

I hadn't posted anything on this site yet about our baby that's coming this spring. I wanted to wait until I knew whether it was, well, another sonshine or a flower. And it's a boy! So, this will now be the celebration of life with, in all actuality, four boys! Yikes!

Zach assured me that the reason it's a boy is because I'm all the woman our house can handle. Ha! I'm not so sure I believe that. When the testosterone really gets flowing around here, it can get pretty thick! Thick, and stinky, and loud, and rough, and rowdy, but fun. Definitely fun.

They were SO little!

From time to time I just won't be able to help but post pictures from long ago. Every time I browse through the thousands of photos [really, thousands] on my computer, I can't help but let out the occasional: "Ooohhh, look how cute!"

This picture was taken exactly one and a half years ago. Caleb was only two months shy of his 4th birthday and Owen was just over 8 months old.

"Ooohhh..."

A Word About My 1st Boy...

On my other blog, I've been doing a daily, alphabetical list of things I love, appreciate and am thankful for. The list will be finished [letter Z] on Thanksgiving day. I can't wait that long, though, to unabashedly declare that I love, appreciate and am thankful for Zach.

If I even begin to think of the ways in which you, daily, sacrifice yourself, your wants and your desires for our family, I'd bawl. You have been selfless in SO many ways. I know you'd deny it, but it's true.

You have a tender heart, beautiful dreams and admirable aspirations. You are passionate, funny, kind, intelligent, conscientious, gentle, dedicated, strong, talented, creative, thoughtful and so much more. [In no particular order, of course.]

You are a husband and friend of the sort that women dream of and long for. [And you're all mine!] You are a daddy who is raising his sons in a legacy of incredible love.

You are so much more than someone who merely "affects the bottom line". You are daily changing and affecting lives in such a good and profound way. I am SO proud of you!

Thank you for everything you do and for everything you are. I am blessed beyond measure to be your wife.

All my love,
S

More Caleb Cowboy

A few weeks ago I promised pictures of Caleb in his Halloween cowboy get-up. I think they were worth the wait!

My little [as in skinny], handsome cowboy and his goof-ball poses:

From the Mind of a 5-Year-Old

The following conversation between Caleb [C] and I [S] ensued in the car earier today:

C: [completely out of the blue] I've made a plan for my life.

S: Oh, really? What's that, Buddy?

C: I'm never, ever going to get married!

S: How come?

C: Because! I never want to kiss a girl! It's gross!

S: But how do you know? It's just like trying new foods. You're not supposed to decide whether or not you like it until you've tried it. Have you even tried kissing a girl?

C: [after a very flustered pause] I just don't want to kiss girls!

S: But you'll still kiss your mommy, right?

C: Yes, but you're not a stranger!

S: Oh! But, Buddy, you wouldn't marry a stranger. You marry someone that you know really well and that you love very much.

C: [obviously done with the kissing subject] Yeah, because a stranger could rob you... Or a ninja could rob you, and they'd probably have a sword!

Go Ahead!

When we're in the shower, one of Owen's favorite things is to watch the soap bubbles go down the drain. He used to ponder, "Where go?" Now he at least understands that they disappear into the holes. This morning, though, there were a few clumps of bubbles stuck to the wall of the shower and, in his encouraging little squeak, he said, "Go ahead, bubbles! Go ahead, bubbles!"

'niffin!

Last weekend, my guys were having some good 'ol "guy time" out in the front yard. I'm sure Caleb was riding his bike (like a kid strapped to a rocket) around the cul-de-sac. Zach was probably tinkering in and around the front yard. Owen usually spends his "out front" time divided between pushing his scooter around the driveway and getting into stuff in the garage that he shouldn't.

I, unfortunately, didn't get to witness the following exchange, but Zach's face told it all when he relayed it to me. He went into the garage and found Owen standing in there, not really doing much, but definitely sniffing air in and out of his nose.

Z: Hey, Buddy! What are you doing?
O: I don' know!!! [Exclaimed with SO much enthusiasm and excitement for his new ability.]
Z: Are you sniffing?
O: 'Niffin?!? [Again, super excited and followed by some very exaggerated sniffs.]

Ever since, if you ask O if he can sniff, he hollars [in an unusually high-pitched tone], "'Niffin?" And he's always super-eager to show you his skill. After a few days, it turned into "'Niffin garage?" Which is really not the most pleasant thing to sniff, but I guess that's where his discovery was made, so they'll forever be linked.

Oh, my goodness, Owen. You make me hurt inside.

Caleb Cowboy

Unfortunately, costumes for harvest celebrations have gotten decidedly less exciting than when I was little. Actually, it's not the costumes that are less exciting, it's just the celebrations themselves. They were a huge deal when I was little. In correlation, the costumes were also a huge deal.

For Caleb's Harvest Festival at school, he's allowed three costume choices: a scarecrow, a cowboy or a farmer. Woo hoo! [Please pardon my sarcasm. It's rude.]

I thought maybe he'd get excited about a scarecrow, because there's nothing really exciting about dressing up like a farmer [except for the pair of overalls that I'd be forced to buy him] and he was a cowboy last year. But, when I presented his options, he chose...cowboy. Oh well. It could be harder for me, for sure. But maybe this year we'll try to add a lasso and big, shiny belt buckle to the mix. [If he'll let me.] I'm sure he'll be game for the lasso, but the buckle? I don't know.

So, I'll post pictures as soon as I've got 'em.

In the mean time, I figure this is a good time to write down a song that I made up for Caleb and have sung to him ever since he was itty bitty:

Caleb Cowboy, ridin' on his pony
Through the valley and 'oer the hills
Roundin' up all his little do-gies
Drivin' 'em home, yippie-i-o, yippie-i-o, yodel-i-a
Yodel-i-a, yodel-i, yodel-i, yodel-i-a
Yodel-i-a, yodel-i, yodel-i, yodel-i-a
Yodel-i-a.

[What can I say? I'd secretly love to be able to yodel, a la Jewel. I think it'd be cool.]

Smarty Pants

This morning, on our way out the door to drop Caleb off at school, Owen grabbed several toy cars to take along. In the car, I wasn't paying particular attention, but could hear the two of them having a very involved conversation. Caleb was asking Owen if he could hold up the car that had the engine sticking through the hood. Obediently, Owen held it out and Caleb asked, "Do you want to know the name of that car?" Owen nodded, so Caleb knowledgeably informed him: "That car is called an engine-eer."

New Mercies

Yesterday was hard. Darn hard. But, as is usually the case, today started with an extra special ray of sunshine to make up for the gloominess of yesterday. Owen and I were playing in his room for a minute after dropping Caleb off at school...and he gave me a hug!!! Don't get me wrong. I've coerced LOTS of hugs out of that little one and his big brother, too. But, this is the first time ever that he actually just reached out, grabbed onto my neck and snuggled for a minute. Yay! There was no ouchy, no garbage truck [yes, my big bulldozer baby has an incredible fear of trash trucks], no fright that sent him into my arms. He did it on his own!

Overall, the entire day was far better than the day before. There were still plenty of spankings and mini-tantrums, but NOTHING like Monday. Zach had to stay home from work because he was sick. That usually means that I take the day off, too. We cuddled and took naps. After the boys woke up from their naps, we baked chocolate chip cookies and watched Monsters vs Aliens together. It was great fun!

While eating their cookies, Caleb requested a cup of milk for dipping, but there was no way I was going there while letting them have their cookies in the living room. I got them both some milk to drink from their sippy cups. However, I made the grave mistake of getting small cups of milk for both Zach and I, so that we could have some milk with our cookies, too. I sat down on the floor and was instantly bombarded on both sides by little boys with cookies in hand. They both shoved their cookies in my milk! They got a few bites in this way, but it was threatening to be a HUGE mess - little drops of milk all over. I said no more dunking, so Owen promptly dropped his entire cookie down into my cup. Little stinker. He had already eaten a good deal of his cookie, so when I got him a new one he ended up exceeding the one-cookie-limit that I had set for them. And what's worse? I wouldn't be surprised if he did it on purpose. He's shown cookie-monster-tendencies before. A few weeks ago we had dinner and fun with lots of friends from church at the Livingston's house. After dinner they broke out some ice cream and cookies for dessert. I made a cup of ice cream for each of the boys and sent them outside to devour their treats. I was inside, so I didn't witness this first hand, but... Apparently O was feigning some difficulty in getting his ice cream on his spoon. Kelly ran right over to help him scoop. While her attention was focused on feeding him his ice cream, however, she innocently let her own cookie get within his reach. He snatched it right out of her hand! Again, stinker! I can't necessarily say that I blame him, but still...

Terribly Two

I think we're there. At least it feels like it. Owen didn't get enough sleep this weekend and now we're paying for it - BIG TIME. So, I'm hoping that's all this is. If, however, this really is "two" rearing its ugly head, I might have to lock him in a closet until he gets to 3, or 4. [Just kidding, mostly.]

Auntie Fae gave me some good advice on how to deal with the fray: "You may have to prepare for the fact that his little bootie might just be awfully red for the next several weeks." So true.

It's SO darn hard to remember in the heat of things [like tonight, after the second time he threw his milk on the floor and it spilled all over] that this, too, shall pass. That is the absolute best piece of parenting advice I've heard thus far, and, I'm convinced, the key to surviving this role of being a Mommy.

His little tush might be in a constant state of red, he may spend more time in his crib screaming his way through tantrums than either of us are prepared for, and he may need a spanking every time I turn around. But it will pass. It did with Caleb, and it will with Owen, too. In the mean time, I just have to take a deep breath and think of the good - like when he accomplishes something new and throws his hands up in the air with a resounding "I did it!", when he stops to rest his head on my shoulder, when I get to watch his cheeks [all 4 of them] jiggle as he runs across a playground or when he says "I wuv wu."

Ahh. Life is good. Hard sometimes, but definitely good.

So True

On our way to church this morning, Caleb was pretty quiet. We passed the usual buildings and fields that we see every week. After passing one of several churches along the way, however, Caleb sighed and said, "Mom, isn't God's church beautiful?" Out of the mouth of babes...

I know, at the time, Caleb was just talking about the nice building we had passed. But, the reminder of God's love for His people [the church] was so very sweet. And, speaking of God's love, there's a song that Zach did for the first time at church this morning that really speaks of His love for us. It's an amazing song and Zach was able to present it so beautifully. I was SO proud of both my boys!

Here are the words of the song:

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh! How He loves us,
How He loves us all.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! How He loves us,
Oh! How He loves us,
Oh! How He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way He loves us...

Solo...Almost

This morning I tried to take a shower without Owen. Actually, let me rephrase that. It's not that I haven't showered without him for the last two years. It's just that for the last several months it has become our routine for him to take a shower with me in the mornings while Caleb does his morning routine. The number one reason for this is convenience, for me. It gets him clean, too, and I'm all about successful multi-tasking. [Basically killing two birds with one stone, but just a kinder, gentler way of saying that very same thing.]

My biggest motivator in all of this, though, is just so that I can get a shower for myself. I don't trust Owen to run through the house while I'm in the shower. No telling what he'd get into, especially since he's recently figured out how to twist the tops off of things...my lip gloss, mascara. You name it and he's tried it. [I've definitely learned that, with Owen, if I haven't heard anything out of him for more than about 3 minutes that means trouble.] So, I figure that I could take a panicked 3 minute shower without him or a leisurely 15 minute [okay, 20 minute] shower with him.

This morning, though, he definitely didn't express any interest in taking a shower, so I got him dressed and interested in some toys in his room and I hopped in for a quick scrub. I wasn't in there for more than 2 minutes before he came in, sobbing, and crying "Wid you, shower, wid you..." I tried to console him and tell him that I'd be out in just a minute. That, apparently, was not good enough for him. Fully clothed, he climbed into the shower. His solution caused quite a smile to spread across his face, until his clothes started feeling wet and heavy. He wasn't so sure about this new experience, it definitely wasn't like his usual showers with mommy. So, I had to strip him down and then we finished. I guess I won't be doing any solos for a little while longer. [And that's just fine by me.]

Time Flies

How is it that time has flown so quickly? The last time I wrote a post was already 5 months ago! That was completely not my intention. I don't want to miss a moment! I want to record every event, every boo-boo, every milestone, every funny word. I want them written down, to help me remember. I thought I'd be able to do this more often [and hopefully will in the future], but the entire summer has escaped me!

I know part of the reason why I haven't blogged in so long, besides the fact that we've just been insanely busy. I already had an idea for what my "next" post was supposed to be. I wanted to record the list of words that Owen knows. Zach and I always had fun listing off all of the words Caleb knew when learning to speak and it was always so impressive. Owen's list was equally so. The problem, even in April and May, was that it was already so long it was quite overwhelming. I didn't know where to begin and so, obviously, I never did. If it was too late then, it's FAR too late now. I missed it.

I wanted to remember that his first name for Caleb was Lalo. Then it evolved into Laleb and now it's finally Caleb. In fact, sometimes it's Caleb Thomas. [With the right tone, no less - where has he heard that before?] I want to remember his obsession with "bygles" and then "bycles" and "motorbycles". Or how he loves to try to ride his "cooter". His other favorite has been basketball which, until recently, was completely confused with soccer. He loved trying to "hoot it". He'd do a little hop, push the ball up into the air over his head [by a whopping 4 or 5 inches] and then laugh like crazy when the ball came back down on his head...every time. His technique hasn't really improved all that much over the last few months, but he's no less enthusiastic and now says "shoop it basketball" instead. He's getting there!

What else has happened over the summer?

Caleb learned to ride his bike with no training wheels! Actually, he was so good from the very fist attempt that it's hardly been a challenge! He makes Zach and I plenty nervous, though, as he has definitely shown a "need for speed". He does circles in the cul-de-sac, going as fast as he can and leaning in so far that his pedals often clip the road. Yikes.

Owen got his first black eye. A whopper that he got off the edge of a stair step. Poor little guy! He was purple, black and then green...a progressive rainbow for two weeks!


Caleb has gotten better and better at letters and numbers. I think this whole learning thing is starting to get interesting for you! I'm SO proud!

Caleb turned 5. Owen turned 2. Like I said, where in the world has the time gone?

What's a mom to do?

If only I had a dollar for every time I've asked that question. Darn.

Poor little Caleb. Actually, you were probably pulling my chain the entire evening. No telling. We had fish and chips [with Chris and Jane] for dinner tonight. You've only tried fish once and you didn't like it. It was baked though, without any breading and not a whole lot of seasoning. I'm sure, to a kid, it was horrifying. But tonight it was lightly breaded halibut with french fries and I even made tartar sauce. I figured that'd surely work. After all, breaded fish is basically just a fancy chicken nugget, right?

But, apparently you really, really don't like fish.

I made you a little plate with fries, ketchup, one small piece of fish and some tartar sauce. You took one teeny bite then cringed, shivered and said you didn't like it. I wasn't convinced. No one can make a fair judgment after a taste so small. You were happy to finish off your fries. Before you did, though, I gave you fair warning that you weren't going to be allowed to fill up on french fries and nothing else. I told you that you either had to eat the piece of fish or a small pile of coleslaw. You opted for the coleslaw, but picked at it one little shred at a time. Not okay. I thought maybe you'd like the fish if it was dipped in ketchup. No deal. You shuddered and winced and acted like you were going to die. Maybe you thought you would. [I have similar but vague memories from my childhood and they involve peas.] After a looooong time of coaxing, demanding, etc. You asked, "Mom, isn't it past my bedtime?" Indeed, it was. When I answered in the affirmative, you slid off your seat with a smile and sang, "Well. I guess I'm off to bed." But, I wasn't going to let you out of it that easily. "No Sir, Caleb Thomas." At that, you wilted. You turned into a puddle of tears and asked if I'd please spank you instead of making you finish. Yeouch. What am I supposed to do with that? Maybe last time we encountered this battle of wills I gave you the option to eat the specified food or get a spanking? Not sure. But, I couldn't spank you. I asked you to look into my eyes and told you that all I really wanted you to do was to obey me. Please, please Caleb. Please just obey me. It's my job to keep you safe and healthy and strong. I'm just trying to do those things and it isn't likely to happen if you won't obey me.

I sent you to bed without a spanking, so I probably had the wool pulled over my eyes. I didn't read you a story, though, so I hope you don't feel like you won any battles. I guess that now it's safe to say that you really, really don't like fish.

I promise I won't make you try it again.

You Stinker!

It's only 9:30, and I've already had two very clear realizations:

1) The title to this post, "You Stinker", may very well have occasion to be used over, and over and over on this blog.

2) The entire direction of my day can be changed drastically, just by opening a door.

So, here goes. Back to the post. Owen, you are a stinker. Literally AND figuratively.

You didn't make a peep for a long time this morning. Actually, you didn't make any noise at all. I mistakenly assumed that meant you were sleeping in a little. Wrong. It was time to get things going, so I opened your door. What did I find? Stink. You'd had a dirty diaper and, being such a good baby, decided to help out by taking it off. You were sitting on top of your teddy bear [ewww] with a naked, dirty butt and your dirty diaper sitting at the opposite corner of the crib. I tried to mop things up as best as possible, but I think it had been just long enough that things were pretty well dried. [ick]

That's where the "direction of my day changing" part comes in - showers were necessary, stat. Thus began my first shower with you, Owen. Yay! You've been in there before, just for fun. I never actually set you down and let you play while we both got clean, though. I thought you might still be a little small, but you did just fine. There were several episodes of the curtain flying back and hysterical baby giggles, but overall it went just fine. You enjoyed popping bubbles and hollering "Bubba, bubba, bubba!" I imagine this routine will become the norm starting in the fall, when we have to get Caleb off to school early in the morning. [Speaking of that, I keep meaning to start looking for a 'drop your kid off at school before showering' baseball cap, because I have a feeling I'm gonna need one!]

So, Owen, you had your first shower this morning, and then you did, too, Caleb! Yours was solo, though. I told you that since O was already clean that you could have a bath by yourself this time. [Bathtime, out of necessity, has been two-at-a-time ever since O has been big enough.] I figured you'd jump at the offer, because you love to stretch out and play in the whole bath. No deal. You wanted a shower, too. So, I peeked around the curtain and instructed you on how to get clean in the shower. For a boy who doesn't like water, it's a little challenging. I thought we might have trouble when, after only stepping into the shower, you said, "But I don't want to get wet!" Aaugh! You ended up doing just fine, though, and thought the whole thing was quite fun.

A new era, of boys showering, may have dawned in the Taylor household this morning. Now, massive amounts of dirty [really dirty] baby laundry must ensue. Here goes!

A Blog For My Boys

I had this idea several weeks ago, but it's taken some time to get myself, well, organized. Selecting a domain and title for a new blog is not an easy task. But, the days are getting longer, brighter and warmer. After an afternoon of watching you two play in the backyard, it didn't take long for it to come to me...you two are my sunshine.

sun⋅shine

   /ˈsʌnˌʃaɪn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [suhn-shahyn] –noun

1.	the shining of the sun; direct light of the sun.

2.	brightness or radiance; cheerfulness or happiness.

3.	a source of cheer or happiness.

4.	the effect of the sun in lighting and heating a place.

5.	a place where the direct rays of the sun fall.

Brightness, radiance, cheerfulness, happiness. It's true. For all of those things, you two are my source. Life with you is wonderful. Breathtaking. But, it's moving so darn fast these days, that I fear I'm missing it. I don't know how many times in the last few days I've stared at you, Caleb, and wondered when in the world it was that you got so big? You're hardly a little boy any more. You look so grown up and I'm not quite sure when it happened. I've also found myself drinking you in, Owen. Wishing I could remember forever the sound of your words - the singsong melody when you call, "Mama, Mama, Mama!" Oh, how thankful I am to be that Mama!

I need a place to remember the days. I wish it could all fit in my mind, crystal-clear and perfect. I wish I could record every second. I know better, though. I know this will be the best I can do. Tidbits of information, funny quips, pictures that capture the moments. It'll be the memory of our days. I hope it will someday be a place that you will cherish as much as I will. I look forward to sharing every second with you and, hopefully, t ucking as many away as I can to pull out later, to enjoy all over again.

PS - I'm not being entirely truthful when I say that I have two boys. In actuality, I have three. My first boy is also my biggest...my husband. My dear Zach, I hope it doesn't offend you when I refer to you as one of my boys. I'm so thankful for you and for exactly who you are. I am truly blessed to have you. You are silly and fun when that's what I need and a fortress of strength for me when I need your broad shoulder for support. Thank you for being all of those things for me. So, earlier when I was talking about my boys as being my source of all things wonderful, I hope you realize that applies just as much to you, too. You are so precious. Just as I've wondered in awe at how time with the little ones has passed, I do the same with you. I can't believe we're about to celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary. I'm blown away by how good every single day is with you, and it leaves my longing for the next, and the next, and the next. I'm honored to be your wife and I'm thankful that my two sonshines have you for their Daddy. There could be no better...

[August 2008 - Z 28, C 4, O 11.5 mos]