Could I Have That In Writing, Please?

When I drop Caleb off at school in the mornings, we drive right past Eldorado High School. This morning, as we drove past a few saggy pants-ed guys that were standing on the sidewalk, this is the conversation that ensued:

Caleb: Mom, there's something so weird that I don't understand.

Me: What's that, Buddy?

Caleb: I don't know why teenagers want to wear pants that show their butts to everyone.

Me: I have NO idea. Will you promise me that you'll never wear your pants that way?

Caleb: No way!!! I'll never wear jeans that show my butt!

Owen: [with a very Bevis & Butthead style laugh] Hee hee hee! I'm gonna show my butt to everybody!

So much to say!

So much to say, so much to say... [Aagh...Dave Matthews Band. Always good.]

It's been a long time. As usual, my lapse in posting does NOT mean that I've had a lack of things to post about. It's actually quite the opposite. Just too much going on. I have a whole list of excuses as to why I haven't been posting, but I know what excuses are like - everyone has them and they all stink. That's why I prefer to think of my list as more of an explanation of why...

1) We were thinking about moving back into the mountains. The urge comes and goes, but this time the urge was equipped with a really great house that we all fell in love with. A big lot, a flower meadow across the street, great views of the mountains, amazing front and back porches... Aagh... It was darn tempting and after LOTS of prayers and deliberation we decided to go for it - only to have the whole thing turn weird on us. We had to walk away from the deal, so there goes that plan.

Why did that keep me from posting? Because in the panic of "we're going to have to list our house - and FAST", we came up with a super long list of things that needed attention around the house. Lots of those things were painting projects, which is my area of expertise. I picked new colors for the trim and the front of the house and dove into the job full force. Now, it's about 55% done and I haven't picked up a paintbrush in weeks. We aren't listing the house anymore, so what's the rush? I keep hoping there's some sort of painting fairy that will appear and finish the job for me, but I'm starting to have my doubts. I don't think it's going to happen. Darn it.

2) My computer has been running slow. And when I say slow, I mean really, really sloooowwww. I know we're living in an age where we've become accustomed to having information at the tip of our fingers in split seconds and that anything longer feels unacceptable. But really. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not sure what's wrong, but it's downright painful. It's particularly slow when I have iPhoto open. I don't know if it's because my computer is getting darn old or because there's upwards of 5,000 pictures in my iPhoto library, but... Blogging just isn't as fun when I can't ad pictures, so what's the point?

3) We've just been stinkin' busy. Busy having fun and loving life, though, so no complaints here!

My computer is behaving relatively well today [knock on wood], so here's a sort of photo list of things you may have missed out on over the last month or so...

My amazing and ever-sacrificying hubby gave up his motorcycle [a man's man dream machine] so that we could get a big hick truck and a pop-up camper [also super cool, just in a slightly less testosterone-filled way]. We've taken the boys for two family camping trips so far and it's been GREAT fun!

Caleb started kindergarten at SY Jackson Elementary. Being the weirdo that he is, he insisted on my taking his picture with his backpack on backwards. "Otherwise you can't see my Lobo backpack." He's loving school and doing great. He's learning to count by tens, add numbers, write all the letters and sound out words. He's amazing!

Owen turned 3! [I was waiting for him to outgrow the Terrible Twos. Now I can't wait for him to outgrow the Terrible Threes. Sigh...]

Zach did a super spectacular flip dismount off his mountain bike. Thank God for his helmet. It lost a chunk off the side, but thankfully Zach's face remained mostly intact. He had some rock-rash, a fairly impressive black eye and 7 stitches, but it could have been much, much worse!

Nathan outgrew his bouncer seat...

...only to be introduced to his jumper, which he loooves! [Look at those thighs. Edible!]

We woke up super early one morning in early October so the boys could see two hot air balloons inflate [up close] at Caleb's school. I'm not sure what was more exciting - the balloons or the hot cocoa and chocolate donuts they got to eat for breakfast, but we all had fun!

Owen really enjoyed the balloons, but I think his favorite part [and mine] was when he discovered how much fun he could have while doing somersaults head-first down a pretty big hill!

Nathan discovered that noses make a really great chew toy. [This is particularly fun for the chew-ie, especially once your nostrils fill with drool!]

Owen decided that he prefers to wear his shirts "like Hercules". Plus, he's super impressed with his muscles lately, as am I!

The three little guys, Momo [my mom] and I went to McCall's Pumpkin Patch for a field trip with Caleb's school. We climbed the hay pyramid [that's Caleb, Owen and I waaaay at the top], went on a hay ride, picked pumpkins directly from the patch, found our way through a corn maze... It was a great day!

Nathan got to try his first cereal. The verdict? Mmmm.... Yummy!

Caleb dressed up as Obi Wan Kenobi for halloween. He was so dashing with his drawn-on beard. My favorite part was when he pointed to his chest and said, "Mom! You forgot the hairs that go here!"

Owen dressed up as Buzz Lightyear for halloween. He wanted the wings SO badly and then, after I spent an entire day making them, he only wore them for exactly the 10 seconds that it took me to take this picture. Darn it.

Nathan dressed up as a teddy bear. Oh my goodness! I didn't think it was possible for him to be any cuter or more cuddly than normal, but put the guy in a bear suit and he'll blow your mind!

So, like I said, we've been busy...

How'd it go?

Today I tried to walk the walk - as far as showing love in the midst [of chaos] goes.

[If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the Unconditional Love post first.]

So, how'd it go? It went well! Today, I actually managed to make it through an entire day of being at home with three sick-ish boys and I didn't lose it - not even once. That doesn't mean that there weren't any tantrums or fits. Oh, boy, were there! But, I was able to act with an element of control and calm that was completely foreign. Why? Because it sure as heck wasn't coming from me. But I can tell you that it sure was welcome. I think the boys even noticed it, too.

The secret of the success? I really think it was throwing up my hands, giving up and knowing from the get-go that it was a completely impossible task. If you're up against something that you know 100%, without-a-doubt that you can't possibly do, it's not hard to expect the very minimum from yourself. If, however, you know that you've got someone in your corner that is 100% capable and, well, perfect, then it's easy to take a deep breath, slow down and know that the pressure is off. Isn't it a relief to be carried? It takes so much less effort to take on the impossible tasks when you simply stop trying to do it on your own. And the best part? You actually start seeing results - succeeding rather than failing miserably. Amazing, no?

Unconditional Love

un.con.di.tion.al

[uhn-kuhn-dish-uh-nl]

-adjective.

1. not limited by conditions; absolute.

Never in my life have I had such clear, frequent examples of forgiveness and unconditional love as I have since becoming a mother. Until that time, I had also never quite realized my own capacity for losing my patience and becoming an eye-bulging, vein-popping monster. It has taken me quite by surprise.

I think my whole understanding of unconditional love is changing.

I have always tended to look at love with a "big picture" mindset. For instance, in my relationship with Zach, I am 100% confident in his love for me and my love for him. So, whenever we're not seeing eye-to-eye (which doesn't happen often, but it still does from time to time), I always draw comfort from the fact that no matter what things feel like right now, I know that we are always going to be okay in the long run - because we love each other and are committed to each other. We will always work out our problems and any temporary differences we have will always fade away (sooner rather than later, because we hate wasting our time together by being upset) because, in the big scheme of things, we love each other.

It's the same way with the boys. I can most definitely say that I don't always love their behavior. I don't always love their attitudes, but I ABSOLUTELY always love them...all. the. time. That will never change.

In my mind, that was unconditional love. But, like I said, I think my understanding is beginning to change.

Unconditional love is love that isn't limited by conditions.

Its power and effectiveness is not lessened or diminished based on what's going on NOW.

Love isn't just a "big picture" or an after-the-storm-blows-over fail safe. It just isn't. Of course it's always there - especially in my life. I feel it all the time. But, I'm starting to believe that the measure of my love has more to do with how I behave in the midst. Yes, I love my boys always, but what do I look like when they're in the middle of a tantrum or an act of disobedience? Am I able to ACT effectively in the situation, rather than simply RE-acting? No. I can't. With lightning speed, I am taken over by the Hyde in me. I want that to change. I'm starting to realize that firm but loving action on my part will always produce better results than simply trying to control situations and events.

So, can I do it? Nope. Definitely not on my own. I'm just not that loving, kind or patient. Thankfully, I know someone who is. So, I think I'll try letting him take the wheel more often, especially when **it is hitting the fan.

I'll let you know how it goes...

PS...you should probably know that, since I have three boys, when I say that **it is hitting the fan, it may very well be **it that I'm referring to, rather than me just waxing poetic. Between having a potty-training (almost) 3-year-old and a newborn that holds it all day so he can surprise mommy with one grand explosion each day, I am completely overwhelmed with how much **it I am coming into contact with each day. Yikes. Isn't life grand? (Yes. It most certainly is!)

Sweet, Sweet Baby

I'm typing with one hand right now, because I was nursing you and you passed out in my arms. You are so sweet and precious. I never want to set you down, even though you're making my left hand go numb! I opened iTunes and we're listening to "our" song. I love singing it to you, when it's just you-and-me. It goes like this:

Sweet Sweet Baby, I said maybe
Maybe you should stay with me
Sweet Sweet Baby, I think maybe
Maybe you shouldn’t leave
Sweet Sweet Baby, I go crazy
Crazy when I think of you
Sweet Sweet Baby, I go crazy
If I can cuddle up to you

So baby, oh baby,
Please don’t go
Yeah baby oh sweet baby
Please don’t go

You’re the only one
You’re the only one
You’re the only one
For me
You’re the only one
Yeah the only one
You’re the only one
For me

Sweet Sweet baby, Can you save me
Save me from a night without you
Sweet Sweet baby, Can you save me
The way that I am going to save you

So baby, oh baby
Please don’t go
Yeah baby oh sweet baby

You’re the only one
You’re the only one
You’re the only one
For me
You’re the only one
Yeah the only one
You’re the only one
For me
You’re the only one
Yeah the only one
You’re the only one
For me

(by Michelle Featherstone)

It's time to go pick up Caleb, so we're going to have to move - darn it. This is definitely a great example of why I'd love to be able to freeze time. Actually, when I sing the song to you, I usually end up singing "Please don't grow", instead of "Please don't go", because this is all passing by way too quickly...

I love you, Sweet Baby!

My body was filled with your absence.

Last night, dear Nathan, I had the paradoxical experience that most mothers go through sooner or later. In our sleep deprived delirium, we often cry, "Oh! If only you could sleep through the night!" Then, when you actually DO sleep for a longer-than-normal stretch, rather than relishing the sought after sleep, we lay awake in a state of total panic. "Are you okay???"

That's what I was doing at 4am...laying in my bed wide-awake, telling God [in no uncertain terms] that the only option that was at all acceptable was for you to be healthy, happy and sleeping soundly. Life without you, my precious Nathan, is simply not an option. And that's what I told God. And then, believing that he truly is loving and just [and that he's just as wild about you as I am], I asked him for the peace that I'd need to join you in sweet sleep. But, it didn't happen. The momma-in-me just couldn't get free from the grip of fear...so I peeked. I was trying not to, because your door sticks and makes a really loud noise. But, I did get it open in time to catch a glimpse of your little, jammied foot wiggling - that was enough. I just had to know that you were okay. You finally woke up about 30 minutes later and I didn't hesitate to jump out of bed and cuddle you.

I'm tempted to tell God that I'd gladly keep doing night-time feedings for all eternity if he'd only let you stay just like you are now - precious, perfect, innocent. But, then I think of your big brothers and how amazing they are. I know that you will be just as amazing and that I'd miss out on all the incredible things you'll do. I'm certain that you'll be able to keep me captivated effortlessly for a lifetime - just by being you. So, I guess I'll be content to watch you grow, although the change I see every single day is almost too much. You're precious...

A few hours later, I experienced the same empty feeling of panic again as I walked away from your kindergarten classroom - your first day, my Caleb. I tried to make Owen hold my hand, but he wouldn't. I cuddled Nathan [whether he liked it or not] a little closer to my chest. I felt like I was grasping at straws, trying to keep you from slipping through my grasp. My sweet Caleb, I wanted to be brave for you and not cry, but I couldn't help it - just a few tears because you're another milestone older.

You made my day when you saw me through the window at dismissal time and waved, with a huge smile. You bounded out the door and into my arms and I never, ever want to forget holding you up off the ground in a huge embrace. You're amazing. You are full of silly, unbridled energy. [You insisted I take your picture this morning with your backpack on backwards.] You want to play all. day. long. You make me crazy, but it's such a good thing. Once you're old enough to focus all that might, determination and curiosity, you'll touch the stars. You recently told me that you want to be an astronaut, but that you'd rather fly a jet in space than a rocket. I told you that's not possible, but you may very well be the one to prove me wrong. You're brilliant. You built a bridge between our couches using only a deck of flashcards when you were four. You've aspired to be so many great and amazing things [a storm trooper, a football player, a scientist]. You have such a sweet spirit and I'm so very, very proud of you. I love being your Mommy. Some day you may be flying through the stars, but as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. I love you, Big Guy.

My Scuba Dudes

We celebrated Caleb's 6th birthday at a pool and had a great time! The boys' great-uncle Scott had a pair of goggles and the big two just couldn't resist giving them a go.

Watch out Beach Babes! With these two Sultry Swimmers on the scene, it'll take all your might to resist their charms!

And what, you might ask, was Little Stud Muffin [emphasis on the muffin] up to? He joined in on the fun, too!

Aagh...fun in the sun!

Baby! Where's your hair?!?

Caleb @ 1 week

Owen @ 2 months

Nathan @ 4 months

Hmmm... What happened to your hair, Nathan? If you look at only the first two pictures, it'd appear that it is a Taylor family trend for babies to be born with tons of hair. But, apparently, Nathan, you are the one to buck the system - AND I LOVE IT!!!

It was definitely fun having babies with so much hair. You guys got a ton of attention everywhere we went: "Look at all that hair!!!" You were both so handsome and, well, furry.

But, I always felt a little jealous of mommies that had bald babies. I always imagined that it'd feel pretty darn nice to nuzzle my cheek against such a nice orb of fuzz. Now, I get to experience the best of both worlds! Granted, you didn't start out quite this bald, Nathan.

All three of my guys have had to have haircuts fairly early in their lives - 12 weeks or so for both Caleb and Owen. It was necessary, in order to tame your manes! Now, at 16 weeks, you've had your first haircut, too, Nathan! It started with a buzz. You had some sweet tufts of fluff at the nape of your neck that kept getting knotted from all your wiggling. So, in an effort to prevent the knots, I buzzed it off! But, then you were just left with your sweet little baby fuzz and one patch of hair on the top of your head that was ridiculously long. As your Uncle Boomer so accurately claimed, it really was the world's greatest comb-over. Since your daddy and I aren't particularly big fans of comb-overs, we decided it should go - and away it went! Now your entire head is covered in fine, short fluff and it's wonderful!

Since Caleb and Owen were both past due and Nathan came two weeks early, I figured that was the biggest cause for the differences in hair. I expected Nathan's little head to be covered in no time. But, it hasn't happened yet! I'm sure it will, but, in the mean time, I've got a lot more nuzzling to do!

I love you all...and your precious [furry or not] melon heads!

A Day at the Water Park

Today we spent the afternoon at your favorite water park in town - Water Monkeys. [Caleb and Owen, you both very intently and intelligently explained to us that there really weren't monkeys in the water, it was just the name - thank you SO much for the insight! I'm not so sure I'd be keen on swimming with monkeys.]

It was so much fun watching you boys play in the water. You both went down the slides about a million times. Owen, you even decided to be brave and go down by yourself, on your tummy! It was so much fun watching you disappear [all toothy smile] down the slide over and over again.

You both sported purple lips, shivered and swore that you weren't too cold to keep playing. You really would have stayed there all day, if we would have let you.



Daddy and Nathan both had a pretty good time, too, although their exploits didn't result in getting wet, exactly...

And when you weren't napping, Nathan, you were busy flirting with Auntie Anna and establishing yourself as a die-hard thumb-sucker. [Good boy!]



It was a great day...

The Little Two

As Daddy and I prepared to bring you, Little Nathan, into our home, our biggest concern was for how your big brother, Owen, would react. He had been the baby in the family for 2+ years, he loves attention and, well, his mannerisms have been likened to that of a bulldozer. I was honestly a little nervous about how you'd fare in this house that was already very full of boys and their very big personalities!

I couldn't have been more pleasantly surprised and totally blessed, though, at how you, Dear Owen, have responded to your baby brother. From the very beginning, you have been so very sweet, gentle and kind with him. You were eager to hold him right away and you love nuzzling your head against his. Any time he cries, you holler, "Momma! Nathan is hungry!", and you want me to care for him immediately. You don't like to see him in distress. If he begins to fuss, you always tell him, "It's okay, Baby Brudder." You like to give him goodnight kisses.

I love watching you two together. It's so very precious. I'm sure it won't last forever. The rivalries and wrestling matches are bound to come. But, I'm sure as heck going to enjoy your sweetness for now!

Excuse me, Sir, but would you like some butter...

...with those rolls?

A Pain In My Neck

Look at those little angel faces! But, don't be fooled. Have you ever heard of the phrase "a pain in the neck?" Because you're it! Seriously. Well, not quite, but close. It's more like a pain in the lower back, but still - it's there and you're causing it!

My lower back has been killing me for the last several days and, even though I just had another birthday, I'm still "much too young to feel this darn old". But, finally it dawned on me. This isn't an age-induced ache. This is a lugging-around-heavy-boys ache. Thankfully, my Caleb, you are big enough now that you only need to be picked up on the rarest of occasions. It's getting better with you too, Owen. Although I do still have to get you in and out of the car. [You'd really prefer to do this yourself, but it takes about 8 minutes each time. Maddening!] But, Nathan? Good grief! You may just be the straw [Ha! A 14+ pound straw!] that will break my back! The first indicators were all the bruises popping up around my knees - from lugging you around in your car seat. The sore back, caused by heaving you and your seat in and out of the car, is further proof that you boys are a pain, quite literally!

And, might I add, worth every bit of it!

[Although I do think I'll be re-arranging the back seat so that I don't have to lift you quite so far, Nathan. My little Beef Cake!]

Peek-a-boo!

Time Lapse

Little Nathan, I was flipping [okay, scrolling] through pictures today and was blown away at how you, my teeny little peanut, have grown.

From this, @ birth:

To this, @ 1 week:

To this, @ 2 weeks:

To this, @ 3 weeks:
To this, @ 5 weeks:
To this, @ 6 weeks:
To this, @ 7 weeks:
To this, @ 8 weeks:

Yikes! I guess I can't call you my peanut any more. Now you're a butterball! I just can't believe this transformation has happened so quickly! If it hadn't been right before my eyes, I'd swear it was two different babies! When you were born, your legs were little more than bones with wrinkly, saggy skin on them. Now they're absolutely pudgy!

I'm so thankful that you're healthy and happy. I've only known you [on the outside] for barely over 8 weeks and already I am completely head over heels in love with you. From the very beginning, you've proven true to the meaning of your name, little Nathan - you are a gift from God. I love you!

Full of IT

I'm not exactly sure what "it" is [snips and snails, vim and vigor or a little WWF wrestler thrown in for fun] but, Owen, you sure have been full of "it" lately.

You have been making so many goofy faces lately. Some are smiley, some are silly, but most of them are grumpy. I haven't been able to catch the grumpy face on camera yet, but I'm trying. It's super grumpy, but somehow when you make that face everyone around you ends up smiling.

It seems like that's a common occurrence with you - making people smile. You just crack people up and spread joy everywhere you go. It's fun to witness.

When you and I took Nathan for his two-week-old check up, you had the nurses and doctor laughing SO hard! When the nurse asked you your name, you said, "Kid." You wouldn't tell her your name! You insisted [and still do, when anyone asks] that your name is Kid. She also asked how old you are and you said, "Two and half." It really cracked her up. You weren't satisfied to just be plain old two. The "and half" part is really important to you!



The very best part of our visit with the doctor was when he was checking Nathan's lungs with his stethoscope. After he finished, he put the stethoscope on you and let you listen to his heart. You got a really serious look on your face, and we could tell you were really listening intently to something. The doctor asked, "What do you hear, Buddy?" Your very serious response? "David Crowder." [Anyone that's unfamiliar with David Crowder Band, will have to check them out. They're Owen's favorite band!] Anyways. Despite the doctor being totally taken by surprise, he knew exactly who you were talking about and he thought it was hilarious! You really made his day!

Besides your zany antics, you seem to be getting into everything. A few weeks ago you managed to grab a tube of sunscreen while you were supposed to be eating your lunch. When you started screaming, I came running into the kitchen to find your entire head absolutely covered with about an eighth inch thick coat of sunscreen - eyes, ears, nose and mouth included. The sunscreen was burning your eyes, so I had to jump in the shower with you and hose you off.

You like to color on just about any scrap of paper you can get your hands on, so I'm having to be more careful about where I leave important papers. You also like using my computer. Lots of times when I sit down to work, there are all sorts of weird things turned on. Sometimes it's a bit difficult to figure out how to undo your work!

And yesterday, after we got home from running some errands, I found a little wad of paper in Nathan's ear! You had peeled some of the safety warning sticker off the side of his car seat and you'd deposited it right in your baby brother's ear! [NOT okay, Little Man!]

Needless to say, you've been VERY two lately. Super stubborn, and it seems like you are disobedient more often than not. I'd get really discouraged and worry that you're just an obstinate little boy, but I remember your big brother doing this very same thing when he was two. It was a phase that he grew out of and I'm sure you'll do the same. [Hopefully sooner rather than later, though!]

I'm wild about you, my little Owie-Boo! You make me laugh SO hard, and you never hesitate to snuggle up to your Momma or give me a big hug. You really do make me melt. I love you!

Fat and Happy

Did I say fat? Because I meant, REALLY fat! A week ago, Baby Nathan, you weighed 12lbs 6ozs. That means you're still on track with your pound-a-week weight gain. Yikes! Surely this can't go on for too much longer, can it? [My friends have taken to calling me "Cream Top" because they swear my milk must be 100% cream. I'm starting to wonder!]

As for happy, you most certainly have been! Your biggest challenge so far has been a sinus infection that had your nose SO stuffed up that you could hardly breathe. Poor baby! You've been on antibiotics for about 5 days now, though, and you are doing much, much better.

You've started to smile a lot lately. The smile on this picture is kinda goofy, but it's the best one I've been able to catch so far. It's been hard to get a picture of your smiles. As soon as I hold up the camera you stop smiling. You'll smile for me [and you really smile for your Daddy], but not for the camera. Oh well. I guess we'll catch one sooner or later!

10-4, Good Buddy

Nathan, Sweetie. When you were born, you were a teeny 6 lbs 2 ozs - my smallest sonshine, by far. When you were just 3 days old, you were even smaller - only 5 lbs 9 ozs. Now, only 6 weeks later, you're HUGE! [Look at those beautiful rolls!] What happened?!?

Weekend before last, we went to visit your Auntie Anna while she was working at the hospital. I had to feed you and change your diaper while we were there, so we figured we might as well weigh you, too, while we were there. Daddy and I were so anxious to see what the scale would say. Auntie and I both made guesses - I said 8 lbs 8 ozs. Auntie said 9 lbs 3 ozs. Daddy was the smart one and declined to guess, because we were both way off. You weighed 10 lbs 4 ozs!!! That was darn near double what your lowest weight was, only 5 weeks before! That means you've been packing on a pound each week!!! By now, a week later, I'm sure you're well on your way to doubling your birth weight. Yikes. You've already outgrown your smallest onesies. I can't bring myself to pack them away, though. I just leave them at the top of the drawer, and dig underneath them for the ones that are a little bigger.

When you were born, you were my teeny little peanut. Your tush fit so perfectly in the palm of my hand! I'm not ready for that to change! I won't say that you're not allowed to grow up, because I can't wait to see what an incredible toddler, boy, teen and man that you will someday be. But, could you please slow things down a bit, for your poor mommy's sake? I'm just not ready for this!

BTW - As an interesting addendum, I did the math to see how this rate of weight gain would correspond in a grown person. Here's the example - if you had a 180 lb man, it would be similar to him packing on 30 lbs a week. Right now you're 6 weeks old and I'm betting you're getting close to 12 lbs. If this poor guy packed on weight like that for six weeks, the once 180 lb guy would now weigh 360 lbs! Double yikes!!

Momma

Wonderful, gorgeous, amazing Sarah, it is your first Mother's Day as a mother of three boys and you have never been more beautiful. I am honored to be your husband and I am so excited and grateful that I get to spend this life with you. I want you to know that all four of your boys love you and appreciate you. Thank you for all you do and all you are. You are patient. You are kind. You are strong. You are gracious. You are loving. You are a mother, a wife, a friend, a woman, a daughter of God and there is no one like you anywhere. We love you! Happy Momma's Day, momma!

Cheeks

After lunch today, I put you on the counter in your bouncy seat for you to have some "awake time" while I laid Owen down for his nap. It didn't take more than 10 or 15 minutes, but when I came back this is what I found...


I don't think you understood my instructions. Stinker! And check this out... Daddy and I have been trying to think of a good nickname for you. Maybe it should be Cheeks? Whoa, Baby - good work! [You're getting WAY too big, WAY too fast - stop it!!!]

Catching Up With Caleb

It's not an easy thing to do, you know. I mean catching up with you, Caleb. You are almost always on the go - and fast. You accidentally whacked your head on the corner of the bathroom counter this afternoon and when you were in my lap crying I was overwhelmed at just how big you are. You barely fit in my lap! You're growing up way, WAY too fast, my Big Guy.

Your biggest piece of news is that you lost your first tooth...


...on Monday night while we were eating dinner. All of a sudden you hollered, "Mom! My tooth! I pulled my tooth!" And you sure had. You grabbed on, decided to give a tug and out it came! Daddy and I were both so proud of how brave you were! And, you asked immediately for Mrs. Dowdican's phone number [your teacher] so that you could call her to tell her. I told you that you'd have to wait and show her the next morning at school. The next morning, you wanted to take your tooth to school for show-and-tell, even though it was Tuesday and your day for taking something wasn't until Thursday. I told you that we'd have to compromise - that you could take your "empty spot" to school with you Tuesday to show everyone and then you could take your tooth on Thursday for your real show-and-tell. Then you insisted that you wanted to take your empty spot on Thursday, too, and asked if it'd be okay if you took two things - the tooth and the empty spot - just this once. How could I refuse?

What else have you been up to? Your usual silliness. You love telling jokes. They're always either knock-knock jokes or chicken-crossing-the-road jokes. And the punch lines almost always involve a chicken head and poop. You think it's hilarious! What a boy... Whenever you start telling jokes, you usually want me to take turns telling them with you. The few times that I've actually obliged, you just look at me with a straight face and say, "Mom, that was NOT funny." I'm sorry, Buddy, I guess I just don't have a chicken head and poop sense of humor.

Today when I picked you up from school, there was a broken egg on the sidewalk that fell from a nest earlier in the day. You pushed at it with your shoe and I told you not to do that. You said, "It's okay, Mom. This is an egg from a person, not from a bird." I'll have to remember to tell you that next time you ask me where babies come from, instead of stammering and changing the subject. "From an egg, Caleb, from an egg."

Your hair is getting crazy long. I know you really do need a haircut, especially since it's starting to get hot. I just can't bring myself to cut off your beautiful curls, though. You're such a handsome boy!


What else? You've been such an amazing helper lately - especially since Nathan was born. You're such a good boy and you have such a great attitude. I appreciate you so much. I guess, for now, the only other thing I have to say is: I Love You. I have from day One and always will!

Sweet, Sweet Baby

It doesn't seem like it could even be statistically possible, but somehow it has happened. I have given birth to the three most amazing, beautiful boys in the entire world. People can beg to differ, if they'd like, but they'd better be prepared to duke it out with a Momma Bear. [Not something I'd recommend.]

My sweet Nathan... You came two weeks early [God bless you] on April 10th, 2010. You weighed a perfect 6lbs 2ozs [God bless you, again] and were 18.75in long. You don't have as much hair as Caleb and Owen did and I love it - I can see the shape of your beautiful head! You're soft and squishy and fuzzy like a peach. The skin on your back wrinkles and rolls around, like on a puppy, and the feel of it makes me melt. You make the best faces, sometimes funny and sometimes sweet. You also make a ton of noise. You squeak and sigh and grunt and groan. It's adorable! You sleep almost around the clock. Daddy and I calculated it last night and, at two weeks old, you're up to a whopping 30ish minutes of awake-time each day. You've been eating like a champ since the very beginning. You're such a little piggy!

You have no idea how much you are loved, by all of your family. I treasure you and your tiny little self. [Your little butt fits right in the palm of my hand.] At the same time, I can hardly wait for you to grow up so I can get to know you! You're amazing and I'm head over heals for you, Sweet Baby.

The first words I heard this morning:

"Mom!!! Owen pooped all over my floor and I accidentally stepped in it!"

Ugh. Good morning...

This is Tough!

This big-boy-room/bed transition has proven tougher than I hoped it would. We're 2-and-6 now and those two victories feel like they were pretty darn small. I don't think it was this hard when you switched, Caleb. But, then again, you were a few months older than Owen is now and you've always been a little less obstinate. Plus, you weren't switching into a room that already had a big brother in it. It's a bonus! He gets a big boy bed and a built-in playmate all in one! It's got to be tough, I just wish it was going more smoothly - for your sake and mine! [I went in to quiet O - again - during nap time this afternoon and he was perched as high and close to you as he could get saying, "Caleb! Caleb! Hey, Caleb...!" You, my poor big boy, had pulled the covers over your head and were trying your hardest to ignore him so that you wouldn't get in trouble for being noisy, too.]

Regardless of the rough patches we're traveling, you're both such precious boys and I love you so much. [Even though I feel like wringing your necks most of the time lately!] Our house and our family have been gearing up for big changes lately and I'm proud of both of you for handling it so well. To be honest, you've both been behaving with more grace and patience than I have! You are good, good boys and I love you!

Bye Bye Baby!

Hello, Big Boy!

My little Owen, you're getting to be SO big. Tonight you're going to spend your first night in a big boy bed, in your big boy room, with your big brother. It feels like I was just rocking and nursing you yesterday and then I blinked. What happened?

This is definitely a bitter sweet development. You, of course, couldn't be more excited. For months, every time we've said it's time to go to bed you 1) protest and then 2) go running into Caleb's room and climb onto the bottom bunk. In theory, you're ready. There is this whole bigger issue, though, of the freedom that you're suddenly going to have and whether or not you're going to be able to handle it well. That's the part that makes Mommy and Daddy nervous! Take this morning, for instance. Here I sit, enjoying the peace and quiet in my house. It's 8:30 and Caleb is quietly watching cartoons in the other room, Zach is still savoring his day to sleep in and you are still in your crib. You're awake, but playing quietly and happily. In my mind, this is bliss. Tomorrow, though, could be a whole new world. The second your eyes pop open, you'll have the freedom to climb out of bed on your own. Once you're a little older it won't be bad, because you'll probably be more interested in doing things like big brother - either playing in your room or watching cartoons. For now, though, you want to be right in the middle of everything Mommy and Daddy are doing. So, if we're trying to enjoy our last few moments of lingering in bed, I'm sure there'll be nothing you'll want to do more than:

a) bounce on top of us
b) burrow under the covers
c) pull open the curtains
d) all of the above (i.e. the most likely to occur)

I'm sure we'll have our rough moments, but before I know it, they'll pass and you'll be a pro at being my big boy. My mommihood mantra that's gotten me through more than a few breaking points has been that "this, too, shall pass". The thing is, though, it's a catch 22. At times like these I also have to remember that everything is passing - the challenges and the good. Neither are going away, entirely, just changing. Some new challenge is sure to rear its ugly head. Some new big boy accomplishment will bring us joy. (Potty training, maybe? No pressure...or maybe just a little!)

Anyways. I love you so, my little O. You're finally calling for me..."Momma, Mommy! I so 'wake! Let's go! My grow up!" (It's how you refer to getting up in the morning.) Sigh...this is happening way too fast. Here I come, Precious!

Break my heart...

...why don't ya?

Owen, you've gone to day care 4 times now. It's a great place with wonderful people, fun toys and a great environment. Each time you've gone, though, I've had to physically hand you over to someone and walk out the door while you cry for me. I don't know if I've ever felt anything worse. I want to burst into tears and run back to get you, but I know that neither action would help either one of us.

People say that you'll stop this behavior, but I'm not so sure. You still do the same thing every Sunday when I take you to the nursery. Each time, at church and day care, they say that it only takes about a minute before you're completely calm, happy and playing. I'm not sure why you do it. Just for attention? Do you really want me? You're always SO busy enjoying yourself at play when I return. I actually even have a hard time getting you out of there. So why the torment, Precious? I'm glad this will only be necessary for the next few months. I know we both need some time on my own every once in a while, but I think this might be too high a price to pay.

You're breaking my heart!